As someone who has been in the wellness business over a decade, I am a huge advocate for self care.

The notion that looking after yourself, whether its physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually can be seen as selfish has roots in a capitalist society. Where profit is put before people. Where “being busy” is a badge of honour. Where working through your lunch break is the norm.

When I started as a massage therapist, it was seen as a guilty pleasure. A rare treat for birthdays and special occasions.  Now people are booking for longer and more regular treatments as part of their self care routine. And massage is just one small part of it.

I get why it can be seen as indulgent. Lying half naked on a massage table, covered in towels whilst a stranger rubs your achy muscles with silky smooth oil? Who doesn’t love taking long baths, being one with nature and listening to guided meditations to wind down.

All this to leave you feeling lovely, floaty and super relaxed. Except this is just one aspect of self care. There’s another side to self care and its tough as hell.

Self care is also about saying no to things that aren’t right for you, no matter how much you want to. Having hard conversations with your therapist where you lay yourself open to both a stranger’s critique & support. Its about acknowledging what is working for you, right now. And having the inner strength to cut ties with what isn’t. Its realising you have issues surrounding addiction, and facing them.

Its making friends with yourself. The good, the bad and the ugly and not just putting on a brave face everyday to hide the pain within. Its owning your triggers & doing deep work on why these are triggers for you when it would be so much easier to leave them buried. Its asking the hard questions and realising you would be better off without certain friendships or relationships.

Its really fucking hard. Facing up to yourself each day, and to keep going. Its much easier to paint it as selfish than it is to show up for yourself on the reg. The path to inner peace is not pretty, easy or quick.

Self care is also about saying no to things that aren’t right for you, no matter how much you want to. Having hard conversations with your therapist where you lay yourself open to both a stranger’s critique & support. It’s about acknowledging what is working for you, right now. And having the inner strength to cut ties with what isn’t. It’s realising you have issues surrounding addiction, and facing them.

You’re allowed to be both a work in progress & a motherfucking masterpiece.

But you’re not definitely not selfish.